This week I am going to write about frustration. It feels like a key emotion that is very often challenging to deal with constructively to feel more fulfilled.
I truly admire the work of Dr Nilesh Satguru and I appreciate his time for support. His sharing resonates in many ways with what I do. I feel also truly amazed by the medical sections combined with some really empowering wisdom. It is a real pleasure to write about it. I feel consistent benefits in doing so when I come across beneficial resources and I care about sharing.
Dr Nilesh is an Award winning High Performance Coach and Medical Doctor.
As previously mentioned, it feels quite common for frustration to be one of the most difficult emotions to deal with. I am truly hoping is going to be of benefit and support. And indeed, quoting the beginning of his video: “How many of us struggle with frustration”? To what extent does this resonate?
Frustration can block us and triggers us to feel stuck and stop. We suddenly perceive we are at a point where we interrupt whatever we are doing. In reality, we would benefit more from finding coping strategies and continuing with important and fulfilling tasks to feel happy again. However, instead of doing this, even worse, we suspend a chain of healthy habits and make things happen to be worse and worse (often with severe impacts affecting our health).
Here is the science linked to frustration. The system in our brain that prevents us from carrying on with our tasks is also explored. Most importantly, the secret formula by Dr Satguru is shared, as he learnt at his medical degree, making it perfectly doable and applicable to our daily lives.
How to master our mind in Believe in Growth?
The video starts with a story, as follows. Dr Nilesh, was working as a GP in a practice, as a partner. He was facing quite a relevant number of changes in his life. New job, new house and a new baby in a very short time. In a moment where his father picked him from the station and noticed he was not happy, enquired about it, he responded by saying he was fine (like many of us do). He felt he was lacking vitality and drive. That was the source of a realisation. An immediate cause to this was himself being at the very centre of the process of resistance.
What was happening to him and not for him to be happy? Further that haha moment, he realised it is possible to work on our own perceptions and create a different reality for ourselves, even our belief system via discovering some experience that can make us shift our thinking. As a consequence, we can behave differently, accordingly.
All his videos are based around Lao’s wisdom.
Here is the quote by Lao Tse Tung for this one:
“Watch your thoughts for they become your words, watch your words, for they become your actions, watch your actions for they become your habits, watch your habits for they become your character and watch your character for it becomes your destiny ”
As soon as Dr Nilesh began acting on this, remarkable changes happened.
The science of frustration is extremely fascinating and It really also provides a rationale for the way we feel and how we can change it. A recent scientific study shows that there are some neurons in an area of our brain that are indeed so called “frustration neurons”. The well-known dopamine molecule, the molecule of “more”, the one that is preliminary to a reward and helps us with our evolutionary survival. It is a driver for action. Another molecule, the less known nociception is designed to tell us to stop.
All emotions are there for a reason. Each and every emotion has a specific and role and there is no right or wrong. We realise that we just need to stop and shift. This is really just nudging and encouraging to act on our behaviours and form constructive beliefs.
A character trait described this week, is honesty (based on a 6 core virtue set).
Be truly honest with ourselves. It is possible to be honest and avoid judgement, show curiosity. Be openly honest. Watch results outcome and manage the frustration. No emotion is positive or negative.
Intentional actions are going to add some value and help us moving forward (3 are very important and described here).
It is first key to explore the law underpinning the emotion of frustration. It is the “bulk flow law”. In medicine, the equation for mean arterial pressure = total peripheral resistance = cardiac output can be used as a parallel to the feeling of frustration. Resistance of blood pressure increases and so pressure impacts on that. If we consider the following: as a tube getting smaller, an increased amount of pressure is perceived. In order to reduce frustration it is essential to reduce resistance. When outputs and tasks need to be completed and we get frustrated, pressure is majorly felt with stress being involved in the process.
Most of frustration originates from deadlines, we feel we are depending on something external.
These outputs need to be done, and, as a result, we feel frustrated that we are not achieving what needs to be done. We feel in total lack of ability to do it.
Looking then at our outputs at this stage: how could we reduce them?
In every area of life, work, family, among others.
This self-reflective approach will support us to behave in a constructive way, help us grow. By being more accepting we can release resistance, let go.
Resistance happens because we get result oriented. Any assumption which is not real, triggers expectations. It is still possible to think about the future but the intention can be changed. Attachment generates resistance. A lot of things are out of our control. We live in a world which is unpredictable.
How about outputs?
Reducing tasks that are not necessary. If possible delegate, “passez le baton”, outsource. That time could be replaced instead by 15 key moments for meaningful activities, such as meditation, creative activities to connect us to our higher self.
Keep up the word rather than relying on unreal expectations can help, too. This could be a consequence of when we feel disappointed with ourselves.
The so called “planning fallacy” comes into play. In other words, we set ourselves for far too difficult to sustain goals and expectations.
In essence, more peace, fulfilment, joy, deserve to feel good, be worthy and trust, can reduce frustration.
Being more realistic and honest to ourselves will all make us shape a belief that we deserve happiness, feel good about it and embed positive habits in our lives.
Follow the link to watch the video and access the abundance of fantastic resources he supports us with.
Very grateful to Dr Nilesh Satguru.